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I miss him

December 12, 2009

I miss him so much. I miss the way he looks at me. The way he smiles. Even the way he scares me (which I hate).

Anyways, more about yesterday. He told me to do something but I either didn’t do it or I lied about it. He grabbed my hair and pulled me up to him. I was so scared. It was so unexpected.

So, I ended up telling him that I prefer my Boyfriend to my Teacher (that’s what I call him when he does something I don’t like because he’s usually doing it to teach me something). He completely understood my feelings. He even suggested that the next couple of time he comes over we shouldn’t have sex. Instead, he wants me to teach him how to play the recorder. šŸ™‚

He’s so incredibly sweet…but we’ll still be having sex (especially anal!). But its the thought that counts…and I could tell he was serious when he suggested it.

See? Everyday he does something that makes me love him even more!

4 Comments leave one →
  1. pinochina permalink
    December 13, 2009 9:27 am

    I know this is not what you want to hear, but this relationship is not about submissive/dominance sex the way you’ve been led to believe. It is abusive plain and simple. He is an abuser and you are being abused. This kind of love will destroy you, not make you stronger like love should.

  2. December 13, 2009 2:18 pm

    I realize how it would seem that way from reading my blog, but you need to remember that this is a relatively new blog.

    Furthermore, I’m writing this blog with the intention of having my boyfriend read it, so many times I’ll skip over important details that may drastically alter your view point. I’ll try to provide a more holistic picture in the future…I don’t want people thinking my boyfriend is a monster!

    But thank you for your comment! It is greatly appreciated! :]

  3. December 14, 2009 8:53 am

    Ok…I just read through the post again and there are some vital pieces of information that I neglected.
    1. He suggested we hold off on the sex…I rejected that idea.
    2. Teaching him to play the recorder was said in a teasing manner. We’re most likely going to talk about my emotions until we’re both blue in the face.
    3. When he grabbed my hair, he didn’t do it with the intention of hurting me, he did it with the intention of grabbing my attention. It didn’t actually hurt when he pulled my hair, it was just suprisingly unexpected.

    I hope this clears up some of the confusion. My boyfriend really is sweet. He didn’t know how much I hated having my hair pulled because I never told him. Now that he knows, I’m sure he won’t do it again. He is always thinking of me and way to help me grow as a person. He talks things out with me beforehand (usually). I think that as I start writing more post, a clearer picture of our relationship will emerge.

  4. pinochina permalink
    December 14, 2009 9:01 am

    Look, it’s not me you have to convince. It’s yourself. I don’t know you. If you believe he’s a good boyfriend then fine but no one says about a good boyfriend: “I was so scared” as you did. In one of your other posts you talk about him forcing you to have anal sex until he comes even though it hurts you and you don’t like it. You sais that he tells you he’s going to do it harder next time. No good boyfriend would says this.

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