Choking, being on top and pulling my hair
Today he came over for the first time in over 3 weeks! In fact, I think it was the first time since Dec. 7. Wow…almost a month. I was kind of upset because he could only stay for an hour…but that hour was magical!
He came in, kissed me and told me he loved me. Then we lay in bed…just cuddling. It was amazing. Then he said to himself “Oh yeah”. I thought it was kind of weird but I didn’t think anything of it. Until a split second later he’s pulling my hair. He asked me if I remember disrespecting him. Of course I did, though at the time I didn’t mean it to sound disrespectful.
Here’s what happened. When I finally came clean to him about all my lies I also told him that I needed to be punished. He agreed, though he wouldn’t have suggested it, I’m sure. Then one day during the break he told me to punish myself, take a picture and send it to him. I told him I’d do it…but I also told that I thought him a coward and less of a man for not doing it himself.
So, he pulled my hair…he pulled hard enough that I had to get off the bed for a moment to reposition myself. But it didn’t really hurt. I noticed that he wasn’t actually pulling my hair, rather he was using it to move me. Yes, he did pull my head back, but he was careful to just scare me, rather than hurt me. Regardless, I was scared out of my mind. He asked if I thought I would get away with it. I thought I would, but I figured I should say no. A few moments later he let go and he hugged me close to him. He whispered how perfect he thinks I am. I was so happy.
Eventually, he asked when I’d let him eat me out. What a ridiculous question! As if he needed permission! But rather than having me lay down, he told me to kneel over his face. 😦 I wish he knew how shy I was! Regardless, I had promised him his christmas gift, so I did it. Wow! It felt much better than when I just lay down. I don’t know if it was the position I was in or if he was trying harder, but I loved it! But then he told me to suck his dick. I was kind of upset that he was stopping so soon, but this was his day, so I got off and went to work on his dick. Then he started moving my legs so that I was straddling his face. Talk about being self conscious! I focused on his dick, though, to stop myself from getting up and running away from embarassment.
I’m not a big fan of 69. I prefer to focus on what’s being done to me/what I’m doing to him. But like I said, it was his christmas gift, so I went with it. After a while I felt him stop playing with my clit. I knew he was getting close to cumming. But I also knew that I wouldn’t be able to make him cum with just my mouth.
So it was time to fuck. I had promised him I’d be on top. I didn’t even wait to see if he’d reconsidered. I knew if I put it off I’d chicken out. So I got on top of him and attempted to get his dick into my pussy. Its a lot harder than I thought. Thankfully, he was aware that it would be difficult for me and he offered a lending hand without me having to ask. Once it was in I started fucking him. It was a lot easier than I thought. The hardest part was looking into his eyes. It made me self conscious knowing that he had nothing to do but lie there and watch me.
I can tell when he was about to cum. He makes his cum faces which make him look so sexy. His whole body twitches…not convulsively…its subtle, but noticeable. I started going faster and harder in an attempt to get him to cum.
He made me stop. He told me that he couldn’t cum inside me because he wasn’t wearing a condom. He knew the inner turmoil that would put me in. So he suggested anal sex. I was ok with that, though I wasn’t thrilled by the idea. It hurt more than usual but I kept going because I knew he was close.
Well, I guess I wasn’t good enough because he flipped me over so he was on top. He fucked me until he came.
What he didn’t know was the inner turmoil I’d be in if I didn’t make him cum. Although I knew his reason, it still felt like I had failed him. I wanted to bring him to orgasm myself. Instead, he took matters into his own hands.
I was a bit disappointed in how things ended, but I suppose its a mixed blessing. If he hadn’t robbed me of the oppurtunity to make him cum, I wouldn’t be planning to be on top next time. I also realized that he genuinely likes to cuddle. I knew he had to go to work and he couldn’t be late so I tried to make sure he left on time, but he kept telling me to relax and let him hold me.
I’m really glad I overcame my silly emotions. Now, I realize how my imagination runs wild and keeps me from enjoying things.