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Lonely

June 18, 2010

I wait up every night hoping he’ll sign in to tell me he’s on his way. My heart skips a beat when he emails me.
I’ve told him I don’t belong to him anymore but its all a lie. He owns me. He owns all of me. I gave myself to him the first night we met. I’ll always be his. I hate that he holds my heart in his hands. I hate that I can’t give myself to someone else. Its no longer a choice I make, its just the way things are.

I’m trying my best to hide my true feelings from him because I don’t want to burden him. I know that he doesn’t feel the same way about me. I don’t want him to feel forced into staying with me, but at the same time I know that I need him.

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