Update on my life
Earlier this week I signed a lease for an apartment in Orlando. Hopefully, I’ll be accepted into UCF and start there in the Fall.
As for things with my boyfriend, things aren’t going so well. He read my blog and wasn’t pleased. He feels like I’ve run into the arms of another man…but that’s not what happened at all.
My boyfriend doesn’t have time for me. This other guy does. I’m the kind of person that needs to constantly be talking to someone. My boyfriend can’t fill that need. My boyfriend expects me to give myself to him completely…but he won’t give me the attention I crave. Not getting enough attention really messes with my head. It makes me withdraw and feel resentful. But if my boyfriend could just take a step back, he’d realize that this neew guy is a good thing for our relationship. He can give me all the attention I crave so my boyfriend doesn’t have to deal with that. It’ll let me enjoy the sex and I’ll be able to give myself to him completely.
But does my boyfriend see it that way? No. He thinks I’ve thrown away our relationship after just a week apart. I wish there was a way I could have them both. This other guy lives 1,000 miles away so it’s not like he’s a threat to my boyfriend. I just want to feel like I’m special to someone…like I have value. I mean, I know I’m amazing and all that, but I still crave that feeling I get from knowing someone else thinks so, too.