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The past week

January 18, 2011

My boyfriend hasn’t written to me in a week. He told me he needed time to think. He knows he isn’t enough. He knows I need someone there for me everyday. He knows that can’t be him. But I love him and I know he loves me. He doesn’t want to give me up, but he doesn’t want to share me either.

I wish he knew how much he means to me. I wish he knew how much I love him…how no matter how many guys I talk to, I’ll always crave his touch, his lips. I love him so much. I want him to love me just as much. I want his hand to be the one I hold. I want my thoughts to be of him every night.

It’s starting to look like he’s broken up with me. I mean, he hasn’t written to me in a week. I mean, if he really wanted to be with me he would have told me by now, right? How long does it take to decide if you love someone? If you have to think about it, do you really love them?

😦 The more I think of it the more I begin to realize that this may be the end. It kills me to know I may never see him again. I hate the thought of losing him…but I can’t force him to stay with me. And I certainly won’t tell him how depressed it’ll make me. I know he wouldn’t leave me if he knew the downward spiral I’d soon be on.

2 Comments leave one →
  1. January 21, 2011 2:18 pm

    I’m sorry hon. The not knowing for sure is the worst. 😦

    • January 21, 2011 2:33 pm

      Thank you…But I have a great support system now, so it shouldn’t be too much trouble…just a few nights of crying. :/

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