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Just words

April 29, 2011

So there’s this guy. He wants monogamy. That’s his condition. Monogamy in exchange for a relationship. And I’m crazy enough to consider it…but only after I know we’ll work out together. I mean, how can he expect me to give up 2 relationships with 2 really amazing men…before we’ve even met! How can he expect me to take such a huge risk? I’ve told him I was willing to be his and only his…but only after we had gotten to know each other.

But now I feel like he’s really pushing for me to give up my other relationships now. If he can be the sort of man that can fulfill all my needs then of course I’d be his…but I’m not sure he’s willing to find out if he’s that man. He said it’d make him feel like a failure…but, aren’t I worth it? He said he would conquer my heart. He said he’d prove himself to me…but suddenly he’s not willing to do those things. Why can’t I find a guy who’s willing to fight for me? A guy who loves me so much he’ll be willing to prove that he’s the only guy for me. I really hope this guy changes his mind about me. I think he could possibly be the one to fulfill all my needs…but it  looks like I may never find out.

2 Comments leave one →
  1. April 29, 2011 1:40 pm

    I don’t know what to suggest for your specific circumstances, but I will mention my thoughts on monogamy. Monogamy is confusing for me. Not only because I’m not a monogamist either. To ask someone to confine their physical intimacy to only one person infers a contract. I can understand that. However, I’ve known multitudes that will enter into this contract without there being any other expectations within the contract, or any real reason to believe that the contract is a good idea. People will contract to be exclusive with someone that they wouldn’t be ready into any other sort of obligation with. This strikes me as bizarre. I would think that trust and a relationship should be established first, before one enters into a contract. This is how every other contract you enter into works. Why is it that people value thier sexuality so little that they are willing to give someone sole use of it with less concern than just about any other agreement that I can think of? I just don’t get it.

  2. April 29, 2011 2:26 pm

    Pippin, you always say the most thoughtful things. I’ve taken your words to heart. I’ll be holding off on the monogamy until a relationship has been formed. I know I ‘can’ be monogamous…now I need to figure out if I ‘want’ to.

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