Being the other woman
As many of you know by now, I have 3 Daddies. What most of you don’t know is that those 3 Daddies are all married. Even worse, 2 of them haven’t told their wives about me, and the one that has, well, that didn’t end well.
I know this is a sore topic for many. It has often been asked “How could you do that to other women?” Well, I’ll tell you. These women are married to some of the most amazing men I’ve ever met…and yet, they don’t appreciate them. I do. I appreciate the little things, like taking time out of their scheduled day to check up on me because I had a bad night, and the big things, like loaning me the money to buy my textbooks so I wouldn’t have to choose between rent and textbooks.
Yes, it is difficult knowing that they are married. They will never fully truly be mine. I have to live every day knowing that. I’ve also found that it’s a bit different knowing that they’re married than it is actually watching them interact with their wives. I was web camming with one of my Daddies the other day while he was working at home and his wife stopped to chat with him for a few minutes. Hearing him talk to her…it pained me. It isn’t something I like to admit, but it happens. It hurts when I want to talk to my Daddy and he says he can’t because his family is near him. What makes it worse is that they all have jobs…legitimate jobs that keep them away from me. It hurts to want more and know that I must be content with what I have. But what really truly pains me is knowing that they want to give me more, but can’t. I mean, they’re the ones stuck in these marriages. They’re the ones that go to bed with their wives at night and wonder what it would be like to be with me. I, on the other hand, can go out and get a regular boyfriend…I have a freedom that they don’t. I appreciate what my Daddies do for me…all of the sacrifices they make. They all have busy lives, yet they all take time out of their day to make sure I’m doing ok.
Sometimes, I do wonder, though. I see my friends all going out with their boyfriends…I wish I had that sometimes. I wish I could tell everyone about my Daddies…but I can’t. Besides being married, they’re all at least twice my age. It simply isn’t acceptable. I wish I could post pictures of us on facebook…change my status to “In a relationship”…I know it’s silly. I know none of that really matters…but it does to me. Not all the time, mind you…and it doesn’t matter enough for me to end my relationships. I just sometimes wish I could have the typical college life. Only sometimes.
With all that said, I wouldn’t trade my Daddies for anything. They’re all so wonderful. I love them all so much. I really do. I wouldn’t put myself through this if I didn’t.
Do I hate their wives? No, I don’t. They, for the most part, aren’t bad people…they’re just not totally compatible. That’s not to say that my Daddies don’t love their wives. They must, to some degree, or they would have left by now. But I don’t hate them…I don’t want them to find out about me, though. It would crush them, I’m sure. And honestly, it isn’t fair to them. It isn’t fair to flaunt my relationship with their husbands. I do try to be discreet. One of my Daddies even went so far as to not friend me on fetlife so that his girlfriend wouldn’t find out…yes, that’s right, he was cheating on his wife and his girlfriend…I accepted that. I accepted that no one on fetlife, or anywhere else, would ever know about our relationship. I had to. I did it all because I love him. I love all of them.
Would I be able to have 3 Daddies if they weren’t all married? Probably not. I have a hard enough time saying good night to my Daddies as it is. I can’t imagine what it would be like to have 3 single Daddies…I doubt I’d have the time for all of them. By this I mean, a lot of their time is taken up by wife stuff…running errands, having dinner and what not. If they were all single, then they’d have, theoretically, all day to spend talking to me. This would be great…except it’d be multiplied by 3! Because they’re married, it limits our time together which allows me enough time to spend with all of my Daddies.
I know I’ve been rambling for quite a bit. I’m not sure what brought this on. Well, that’s not completely true. I partly know what brought this on. I went to bed last night with an intense need to lay in my Daddy’s arms…and that need went unmet. He was in bed with his wife, and therefore, could not call or text me in the middle of the night (he had already tucked me in). I did everything I could to find an acceptable substitution for my Daddy’s arms…the only thing that finally put me to sleep was crying it out until I was just exhausted.
I find I’m doing a lot more crying lately. I lived so long having an online only relationship…I never realized how important the physical aspect was…now that I know, I want it all the time. I crave to be placed over my Daddy’s lap while he spanks me…I want to cuddle up with my Daddy…I want him to kiss my forehead and hold me while I fall asleep…I want more. I know this is entirely selfish of me. My Daddies all give me as much as they can. Believe me, I’m very grateful to have as much of them as I do…but it will never be enough…they’ll never be mine. Their wives will always have them. That realization is perhaps the toughest thing I’ve ever had to deal with.