Long distance relationships
I’ve been meaning to post about this for quite some time now. Having 3 long distance relationships, I’ve learned quite a bit about how to make them work. The first thing to keep in mind is that it’s not easy! I always assumed it would be. I mean, you’re hundreds of miles away…how hard can it be? Well, you need to figure out a way to keep in touch and feel connected. In addition, you need to have an awful lot of trust, communication and honesty for it to work.
Now, I know, I know. My Daddies aren’t exactly the poster boys for honesty…however, we are honest with each other. Being honest includes communicating your feelings, thoughts and emotions effectively. That whole effectively part is incredibly important! Without being able to see your partner in person, a lot of things get lost. You lose all of that nonverbal communication. It can be tough for my Daddy to know if my silence is a lack of conversation topics or something more.
This brings us to topic number 2, webcams! Webcams can cheer up any lonely heart. After weeks of not seeing my Daddies, webcamming with any one of them helps me feel reconnected to them. Webcamming doesn’t quite substitute for a real life meeting, but it may just be enough to get you through til next time. You should also try to set a regular time to webcam. Daddy J and I webcam every night before bed, or at least we try to. Daddy MD (yes, he chose that as his blog name…silly, Daddy!) webcams with me while he’s at work and I’m at home. Which brings us to topic number 3.
Include each other in your everyday lives. Occasionally, Daddy J will get tied up during my bedtime. On those occasions he tries to set up the webcam so that I can watch him work, even if we can’t actually be speaking to each other. This serves 2 purposes.
- It allows us to stay connected while still getting work done
- It makes us appreciate how difficult this relationship is on each of us.
Each of you has to give up something…typically, that’s free time. Enter topic number 4, appreciate each other. Odds are that your partner can find someone else very nearby who can offer them everything you do. However, they are choosing to be with you. The travel back and forth, the lonely nights, the tears…it’s all done because you love each other. Don’t forget that. Appreciate the little things…like that good morning text that is sent to you like clockwork, or not going out with friends so that they can be there to webcam with you at night…it’s nice to be appreciated.
Entering a long distance relationship isn’t easy. There are plenty of things to consider…such as, can you really trust this person, can you effectively communicate your desires, emotions, thoughts and fears, and whether or not you can handle the lonely nights…but if you really love each other, you can make it work. Call each other during your commute…text at lunch time…web cam before bed. It will help you keep your sanity. 😉