My Daddy had placed certain restrictions on me. I wasn’t allowed to use my toys or cum without him. I wasn’t exactly happy about it. I was really shy over the phone and on cam. It was really difficult at first. My Daddy was so incredibly patient those first couple of times.
Last night, I asked my Daddy to clearly define these restrictions so that I wouldn’t accidentally disobey him. He responded by removing all of my restrictions.
I understand his reasons and I appreciate them. He essentially said that because he wasn’t available to help me fulfill my needs he would be removing the restrictions. I am now free to use my toys and cum as I please.
How come I’m not happy? This is what I’ve been wanting all along. I wanted the freedom to masturbate whenever I felt the need. But I didn’t want it for this reason. I wanted this freedom because my Daddy felt I had earned it…not because he felt he couldn’t meet his obligations anymore. This just leaves me feeling uncared for…un-taken care of. I feel like I’m getting less and less of my Daddy.
None of this is because of his lack of effort. I know he wants to give me more of himself…but he barely has enough of himself left for himself! I’m trying so hard to be his good little girl, but I know I’m going to lash out soon. I can feel it building up inside me. It feels as though my patience isn’t being rewarded.
I know this all sounds terribly selfish…and it is. It’s my blog. This is where I give voice to all of the thoughts I wouldn’t dare say out loud…and yes, there are a few thoughts I wouldn’t even dare type out.
My Daddy and I will be together for spring break. I’m hoping to hold out until then. Well, I’m hoping this doesn’t last quite that long…but I know that a week with my Daddy is much needed. I’m hoping that after a week with him I’ll be all Daddied up for a while so that I can give him the space he needs without complaining so much.