I don’t think people realize what it means to be in love with a married man. I love my Daddy. I love him so much. He tries so hard not to disappoint me. When he’s planning a visit he keeps it a secret until he’s reasonably certain it’s going to happen. He did that this time. He was planning to come visit me this week. He got everything ready and then he told me about it. I was so excited. But now, because of wife stuff, our plans aren’t certain anymore.
Where does that leave me? Right here…alone. I need to be there for him. He has the world’s most legitimate excuse to postpone our plans. But it still hurts. It hurts to know that I’m not the most important person in his life, when he’s the most important one in mine.
I remember one of the first times we were talking I told him that it would take a very special kind of person to be with a married man. I didn’t realize what that meant at the time. I’m starting to discover the true meaning of that statement…and I wish I wasn’t.
I know he’ll read this soon after I post it. I haven’t written anything he doesn’t know. I think he’s more aware of the pain I feel than I am. That’s what makes him worth it.