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Why I don’t do well in vanilla settings…

June 1, 2012

So, tonight was a volunteer social event for an organization I volunteer at. We were really just hanging out and playing games and such.

We started off with scattergories…which would have been harmless enough…until we rolled “C” and one of the topics was part of the body. My mind immediately went to clitoris (which I changed for cornea)…and my friend had written cocic (he had meant to write coccyx.) Well, the ‘ic’ of cocic, almost looked like a ‘k’…so what did I say? “Oh, that’s a good one. I almost wrote the female equivalent.” Oh it gets better…

After a few board games, we moved on to mafia. If you’ve never played the game before, look it up.

So, in the course of this game, I was accused of being a mafia person. When you’re accused, you have to stand trial. Essentially, you come up with an alibi and hope everyone believes you.If they don’t, you’re found guilty and are put to death.

Here was our setting: We were all on an airplane, but we were still on the ground. Something had gone terribly wrong and we couldn’t get off the plane…that’s when people started dying.

So, there I am standing trial for murder…I need an alibi. What do I say? “So, the reason we haven’t taken off yet is because I’m having an affair with the pilot. I was in the cockpit and, therefore, could not kill anyone.”
Yeah…I know. I definitely should not have said that considering there was a 10 year old present. But it happened and it worked. I was safe for that round.

Suddenly, I find myself accused once again! Now, the narrator had said that we felt some turbulence. So naturally, what was my defense? “You guys know how we had that turbulence? Yeah…I didn’t kill anyone.”

Thankfully, that went over the 10 year old’s head…but everyone else totally got it. And yes, it worked again.

Whenever someone else was accused their excuse was always something like, “I love you guys. I wouldn’t kill any of you.” or “I was in the lavatory.”

Yeah…my answer definitely stood out. In fact, it stood out so much that we were still talking about it as we left for the night. And this is why I don’t do well in vanilla settings.

3 Comments leave one →
  1. June 1, 2012 10:13 pm

    I’d say the exact opposite. You bring some badly needed hot fudge and sprinkles to vanilla night!

  2. August 15, 2012 5:57 pm

    I can’t imagine what my participation would have been like 😉

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