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Shifting dynamics

September 27, 2014

My Daddy has another submissive. I don’t know that little girl is the right term for her, but she does call him Daddy. She’s cute and sweet and perfectly adorable, but she’s new to kink. She’s new to poly. She’s new to us.

I liked her before I spoke with her. Now that I’ve gotten a chance to know her myself, I absolutely love her.

So why do I struggle with their relationship? Could this be what jealousy feels like? What am I even jealous of? Maybe I’m jealous that she gets to spend time with him in person, while I have to settle for nightly Skypes and a few trips together a year. I don’t think that’s quite it, though it’s certainly possible.

Do I think my Daddy will leave me for her? No. I’m quite comfortable in our relationship. My Daddy has worked hard to make sure I know our relationship will not be harmed by theirs. He’s actually really good at making me feel comfortable about him seeing other women. I actually feel better now that he seems to have started a relationship, as opposed to having various play partners.

So why have I been crying for the past 2 days? I think part of it is that she’s not comfortable sharing the details of their encounters. That would be fine, except I love hearing those details. My Daddy tells me everything that goes on when he’s with someone else. It helps me feel included. It helps me feel comfortable. It lets me know that I’m important.

But she’s not everyone else. She’s not Daddy’s play partner. She’s someone that Daddy is starting a relationship with. She’s someone that I’d like to be friends with. Maybe I’ve been spoiled by Daddy’s willingness to share all sorts of details with me. I have a warped sense of what’s considered normal, that much I know for sure. I’m much more comfortable sharing intimate details than other people are, I’m finding out.

Daddy has always said that no new relationship would hurt ours. He’s made sure I understood that my relationship with him would always come first. But why should it? Shouldn’t this new relationship have as much of a shot at success as my relationship with him?

It doesn’t matter anymore. Daddy is going to speak to her and say…who knows what. From what he said, it sounds like he’ll be telling her what I need to be comfortable. So why am I not happy? I think it’s because I feel as though I’ve negatively impacted their relationship. I don’t want to come between them. I really want things to work out with her. She’s so cute and sweet and perfectly adorable.

One Comment leave one →
  1. September 28, 2014 4:05 am

    Very interesting. ..

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