She snuck into our lives so quietly, this Ginger Mouse. Just a simple message on a dating site is all it took. It must not have seemed like such a big step to her. She’d probably meet a guy, have lunch with him, maybe even sleep with him, but how could she have known she had just written to the man that would become her Daddy. How could she have known he’d have his own little girl already who was just bursting with excitement at the thought of her?
My Daddy’s Ginger Mouse has been in our lives for about a month now and I can hardly imagine a time without her. I feel as though she just fits so perfectly in our lives and our relationship. I cuddle on Daddy’s right and she cuddles on Daddy’s left. She’s always willing to talk to me and tolerate me, which is no easy task. She’s still so new at BDSM and poly, but she’s trying her best to take the giant leaps I want her to take instead of the baby steps Daddy says are best for her. We talk about Daddy and our relationships with him all the time, which I really love. I want to know all about her relationship and she’s slowly opening up about it. She’ll answer most of my direct questions, which is so sweet of her because I know she doesn’t have to answer any.
Pretty soon, Daddy and his Ginger Mouse will travel somewhere together. They’ll spend a few days together the same way Daddy and I spend days together. They’ll be together and I’ll be alone and that kind of sucks. I really wish I could join them, but that would be rude and I have classes and clients to think of. It’s good for them to spend extended amounts of time together. Ginger Mouse does such a great job of helping me feel included. I might even say that she does a better job than Daddy does, though that’s only because Daddy is so focused on his work stuff.
Sometimes I feel like I’m intruding on their relationship, but she’s just so welcoming.
It’s been a while since Daddy and his Ginger Mouse started their relationship. It’s been rough at times. I cry when he gives her more attention than me. She cries when he and I are together and she feels left out. My Daddy is left wondering what the heck he’s gotten himself into…
But things are looking up. Her and I have started talking to each other quite often. My gosh, she’s perfect. She’s so sweet and welcoming. She just let me into her life. We spend our day texting each other, sending selfies and talking about Daddy.
Yesterday, she spent most of the day with Daddy. I thought I’d feel ignored and left out, but I felt the opposite. She wrote to me all morning before she went to see Daddy. She wrote to me whenever Daddy was busy working. Her and Daddy even Skyped with me for a bit while I was at work! I loved seeing them together! She looks so perfectly content with him. I loved seeing that smile on her face.
Then they spent the rest of the day together and sort of ran into my Skype time with Daddy…so they both Skyped me again! I was so excited.
My feelings really could have gone either way with Skype. I’ve never been in that situation before, so I could have gotten really jealous or something, but instead I was just happy to see both of them be so happy with each other.
So, even though we had a bit of a rocky start, I think we’re all in a really good place right now. I can hardly believe that her and Daddy found each other. How lucky can one guy be?
My Daddy has another submissive. I don’t know that little girl is the right term for her, but she does call him Daddy. She’s cute and sweet and perfectly adorable, but she’s new to kink. She’s new to poly. She’s new to us.
I liked her before I spoke with her. Now that I’ve gotten a chance to know her myself, I absolutely love her.
So why do I struggle with their relationship? Could this be what jealousy feels like? What am I even jealous of? Maybe I’m jealous that she gets to spend time with him in person, while I have to settle for nightly Skypes and a few trips together a year. I don’t think that’s quite it, though it’s certainly possible.
Do I think my Daddy will leave me for her? No. I’m quite comfortable in our relationship. My Daddy has worked hard to make sure I know our relationship will not be harmed by theirs. He’s actually really good at making me feel comfortable about him seeing other women. I actually feel better now that he seems to have started a relationship, as opposed to having various play partners.
So why have I been crying for the past 2 days? I think part of it is that she’s not comfortable sharing the details of their encounters. That would be fine, except I love hearing those details. My Daddy tells me everything that goes on when he’s with someone else. It helps me feel included. It helps me feel comfortable. It lets me know that I’m important.
But she’s not everyone else. She’s not Daddy’s play partner. She’s someone that Daddy is starting a relationship with. She’s someone that I’d like to be friends with. Maybe I’ve been spoiled by Daddy’s willingness to share all sorts of details with me. I have a warped sense of what’s considered normal, that much I know for sure. I’m much more comfortable sharing intimate details than other people are, I’m finding out.
Daddy has always said that no new relationship would hurt ours. He’s made sure I understood that my relationship with him would always come first. But why should it? Shouldn’t this new relationship have as much of a shot at success as my relationship with him?
It doesn’t matter anymore. Daddy is going to speak to her and say…who knows what. From what he said, it sounds like he’ll be telling her what I need to be comfortable. So why am I not happy? I think it’s because I feel as though I’ve negatively impacted their relationship. I don’t want to come between them. I really want things to work out with her. She’s so cute and sweet and perfectly adorable.
I’m about 2 months into my 2 year program and I am struggling. I don’t think I’ve ever struggled this much. After getting a C on a midterm I was just about ready to drop out. Luckily, my Daddy is always there to encourage me. He made sure I spoke to my professor about my grade and that made me feel so much better. I would have gotten a better grade had it not been for how specific she wanted her responses.
Still, I struggle. I didn’t realize just how hard it would be to keep a part-time job and go to grad school. I thought this would be just like undergrad but with slightly harder material. It’s not. I have about a thousand groups projects going on (which I hate), I have lesson plans to write, logs to fill out, articles to look up and read, goals to come up with, and profiles to complete. Some classes are better than others. The courses with teachers who remember what it’s like to struggle through grad school are a bit easier on me. It’s not easier because their work is less difficult, but I don’t feel the constant pressure in those classes. I feel like they understand and that makes a huge difference.
I know that this will all work out in the end. I know that this is what I’m meant to do…I just need it to be the end already!
My Daddy has been really great through all of this. He helps me keep things in perspective and not stress about the little things. He made a great suggestion to get my life organized a couple of weeks ago and that was a huge help! But most importantly, he tucks me in at night. It’s my cue to fall asleep and stop working. It helps me get close to a full night’s sleep unlike many of my classmates. It keeps me from burning out. I’m not sure what I’d do without my Daddy, but I know I wouldn’t be doing as well as I am.
I have grad school orientation in 12 days. My first day of school is in 18 days. How did I get here?
I still remember when I first transferred. I had just started talking to my Daddy…he wasn’t even my Daddy yet. I was a scared little girl who missed her mom and wanted to go home. Each day was a struggle. I had no job, no friends, and no desire to stay. Now here I am just two years later. I have an incredible job, a great group of friends and I couldn’t imagine being anywhere else.
I never would have gotten this far if it wasn’t for my Daddy. He has been there for me every step of the way. He may not have been too terribly pleased with some of my choices (like applying to just one grad program for just one semester) but he has always been there to support me no matter what.
Sometimes when I stop to think about how far I’ve come I surprise myself. I never would have thought my life would be this great. It hasn’t always been perfect, but it’s been an incredible two years.
I’ve been feeling a bit lonelier than usual. You guys don’t know this because I never actually posted about it, but my Daddy and I spent quite a bit of time together last month in Vegas and the Grand Canyon. It was an absolutely incredible trip. I meant to post about it, but after I wrote up the post I just decided I wanted to keep those memories to myself.
When we got back, I had the rest of the week off from work, but ever since then I’ve been working all day each week. This is fine really, since I don’t have anything else to occupy my time this summer. My Daddy was getting ready to take a few weeks to be with his daughter so I prepared myself to not see him until at least September. It kind of sucked.
He ended up cancelling his trip for various reasons that I won’t go into, but I still didn’t think I’d see him. I had a pretty good idea of how much money he spent on our last trip and I knew he had plenty of other financial obligations he needed to plan for.
These past few days have been pretty rough on me. A few people I know are getting married or are recently engaged. My Facebook feed is flooded with engagement pictures, bridal shower pictures and wedding pictures…all things that I will have to give up if I am to stay with my Daddy. I’m envious. It’s not fun. Just a few days ago, I told my roommates that I had no idea how they could have normal (read: non-BDSM) relationships because they seemed like so much work. (I was referring mostly to the fact that they seem to be playing games with each other instead of just communicating their needs.) One of my roommates replied that it was worth it because she could get married and have kids and I would just be alone.
That really hurt. I didn’t really have a reply, though I knew she was wrong. Not getting married or having kids is something specific to my Daddy, not the kinds of relationships I have. I know that I could never do the whole- what should I write back to him so he doesn’t think I care that he was talking to his ex while I’m secretly really upset over it- thing. I like the open communication I have with my Daddy. It’s nice to be able to just tell him exactly what I want or need and have us talk about it. So, while I was feeling icky about this whole situation my Daddy was plotting.
Yesterday he asked for my work schedule this week. On its own, it wasn’t a big deal, but the way he was pushing me for details about my schedule was a bit odd. I mentioned to a friend that I thought he was planning to come see me this weekend.
Well, surprise, surprise. I was wrong. He was planning to fly me down for the weekend!
So, this Thursday night I will be sleeping next to my Daddy. I could not be happier right now. I really need to just be in my Daddy’s arms again. This will be a good weekend.
My Daddy and I are going to Vegas and the Grand Canyon in about a week and a half. The countdown has begun. Yes, I know I just got back from a trip with him, but that trip could have gone way better. A failed sleepover, feelings of rejection and early bedtimes left me wanting more.
Don’t get me wrong, I loved spending 5 days with my Daddy. We watched a bunch of movies together, went grocery shopping (I love doing normal things with my Daddy) and had plenty of cuddles.
I miss my Daddy. He’s been really busy since I left, which has left me feeling lonely. I’m counting down to our next visit. He’ll be on vacation, which means he won’t have to do any work stuff. I’ll have him all to myself for the most part. I’m excited about Vegas, but I’m way more excited about the Grand Canyon. I’m sure there will be plenty of fun things to do in Vegas, but I’m much more interested in night time activities by the Grand Canyon. By which I mean, my Daddy has promised me some star gazing! He pointed out a bunch of constellations during Spring Break earlier this year…guess who’s been looking at the wrong big dipper? 😛
Eleven more days until I see my Daddy.
Twelve more days until we fly to Vegas.