I honestly don’t know how I got here. In just 4 months, so much has changed. I’m dating someone new and I’ve even tried dating a woman…while that didn’t work out, it was quite the experience. I’m 4 months away from graduation. I’m leaving my current job in just under a month. I’ve grown professional and become more confident. I’m starting to do research on a topic I’m very passionate about. And for the first time in a long time, I have enough time to take a bubble bath multiple times a week!
Unfortunately, because of all of the changes going on in my life right now, I haven’t had a chance to see my Daddy in over a month. I didn’t even get to see him over Spring Break! But that ends now. I get to see my Daddy on Friday!!!
I’m going to visit Daddy for the first time since he’s started seeing his Ginger Mouse. A few weeks ago I would have been bouncing off the walls at the idea of meeting her, but I’m not so excited at the moment.
My Daddy has a solid plan. He knows that he’s a different person with each of us. Rather than have us meet while also having to be around him at the same time, he chose to remove himself from the equation. The plan is to get the two of us at a neutral place, maybe for lunch or something and then he can leave us to talk.
I’m hesitant to meet her. My relationship with her isn’t in the best place right now. She last texted me over a week ago to tell me that Daddy and I should be together by ourselves and not share our affections with other people. That really hurt me. She sent that after I had fallen asleep, so I woke up to that message. I was shocked and hurt and angry. How dare she say something like that after I tried my very best to welcome her into our relationship? Daddy didn’t chase after her and force himself on her. She chose this. So, why would she say something like that? It made me feel like all the hard stuff the 3 of us worked past was all for nothing.
I didn’t tell Daddy about the message she sent me, not right away. I didn’t want that to influence how he felt about her at all. I told him the other night when he told me he wanted her and I to meet. I told him how uncomfortable I am meeting her right now, but he insists. He said that she had a lot going on at the time that she wrote that to me and I should just look past it.
Daddy says I need to trust him, and I will, but I’m still hesitant. I know she’s fabulous and this was probably just a big misunderstanding, but I can’t change the way I feel about her just because Daddy says so. Maybe it’ll be different when we’re sitting across from each other. I hope it’s different. I hope she’s as fabulous and amazing as I always thought she’d be.
Change is coming. It’s basically guaranteed in a relationship that involves two other people. I’m not sure how I feel about this particular change yet. It reminds me of the saying, “If you want to change, you have to be willing to be uncomfortable.”
Admittedly, I’m not the one primarily impacted by the change, but I really don’t do well with change. I do better when I’m prepped for it, but I still don’t do well. Change scares me. It’s different. I get the feeling that this change will be better for everyone involved in the long run, but right now it just kind of sucks.
Daddy decided to tell his daughter about me and his Ginger Mouse. His daughter came to visit him for a bit, which is really great. He definitely missed her and needed to see her. Through a series of unfortunate events, she discovered that I was on the reservation. She asked who I was and just said that I was a friend that had stayed with him this weekend. Daddy said that she didn’t bring it up again and that was that.
Until last night. Last night he texted Ginger Mouse and I and said that he had finally told her about both of us. He was tired of hiding us from someone that he loved so much. He didn’t tell her everything, of course…some things a daughter just doesn’t need to know about her dad, but he told her quite a bit. He even told her that Ginger Mouse and I had become friends!
So, now I prepare to be cyber stalked. Facebook is fully locked down. My tweets aren’t, but that should be fine. I know she will not be checking Fetlife (thank goodness!). Thankfully, my name is common enough that I shouldn’t be too easy to find…Ginger Mouse on the other hand has a rather unique name. Best of luck to her. ;-)
Daddy came up to spend the weekend with me at the Food and Wine Festival. It was a weekend of continuous food coma and I loved it. He drove up Friday night just a few minutes after I had finished packing. After a good night’s sleep and a bit of play, we went over to Hollywood Studios to draw Eeyore! It’s one of my favorite things to do at Disney. Unfortunately, I don’t really like much else at HS, so we headed over to Epcot for lunch. After a few stops, we decided to head back to our room for a bit.
Dinner was just as awesome. Daddy had made reservations at Epcot at a place with some rather strange food. I ordered chicken, which I thought would be a safe choice, but it was green! It was delicious, but it was green.
Just after we left dinner we ran into some friends from grad school. That was interesting to watch. My Daddy’s really good at striking up a conversation with just about anyone. It’s no surprise that this was no different. Daddy got to hear what my friends think of me in a professional setting, but they definitely talked me up too much. Yes, Daddy has met my friends before. He’s even invited a few to lunch, but he’s never met anyone that has seen me in a clinical setting.
After a few more stops for dessert, we headed back to our room to recover. I took a bubble bath while Daddy spent some alone time with his Ginger Mouse. By the time my fingers were all prune-y, Daddy was sitting out in the living room still talking to her. I got so freakin’ excited when I realized he was talking to her. I climbed right onto his lap and begged to be included! So, we Skyped her! After I had talked to them for a bit, Daddy sent me back into the shower so he could finish talking to her alone. That kind of sucked, but I guess it’s fine. Daddy and I had to have a long talk that night about boundaries and setting proper expectations. It wasn’t because he was upset that I had joined in, it was more about him wanting to make sure that I understood that we all needed some alone time with each other sometimes. I understand the concept, I just can’t imagine ever having a conversation with Daddy that I wouldn’t want his Ginger Mouse to join in on, which makes the reverse equally difficult for me to grasp. It was actually pretty difficult for Daddy to explain it all to me.
Sunday was basically one long, continuous food coma, too. It started off with breakfast made by Daddy and ended with a Brioche and ice cream sandwich in France. Then Daddy had me buy some bath bombs so I could take another bath, without bubbles this time. That was followed by a nap and then play time! I got to try the violet wand for real this time. I had tried it Saturday night, but I was so scared I was in tears even though I could barely feel anything. So, Sunday night, he tied me up and blindfolded me and let me try it a second time. I was able to enjoy it a bit more and Daddy was constantly asking if he was hurting me. Eventually he let me see again and I kept telling me that he was hurting me with scared, which just made him laugh a bunch.
Overall, it was a good trip. I hated having to come back home Monday morning, but I’m glad I got to spend a weekend with my Daddy.